its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
They are going to name an STD after you.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
