Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i would punch a child for taco bell
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
