let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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