I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
