Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
