guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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