I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
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the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
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i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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