Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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