barbara walters just said penis...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize