So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
