I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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