I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
