So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
