It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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