I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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