Ambien. No doubt about it.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
