Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize