Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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