Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
