he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There's always time for handjobs
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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