I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
