He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
