Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
