No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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