I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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