I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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