You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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