My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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