This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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