I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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