Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
