I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
