What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
