your thong is hanging out like whoa
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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