I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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