You just made me feel so damn special
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
