I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
