I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
