yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
