i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
