i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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