I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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