Where is the hickey?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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