Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
