OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize