i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Ladies don't puke and tell
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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