Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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