my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Randomize
