I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
