Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
