I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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