One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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