It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
