ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
