my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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