Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
