Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
