I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
