I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
