Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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