things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Why is your signature on my underwear?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
