Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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